


The Key is Honesty

by Onion_Gentleman



Category: Frozen (2013)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bromance, Elsanna - Freeform, F/F, Pick-Up Lines, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-28
Updated: 2014-02-19
Packaged: 2018-01-10 08:23:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1157334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Onion_Gentleman/pseuds/Onion_Gentleman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remember kids, being honest is the first step to a successful relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading mates. Greatly appreciate it.

They were in the library the day Elsa had done what was possibly the most out of character and ludicrously brave thing Kristoff had ever seen. If not for the fact that the blonde woman seldom drank and only in small amounts of refined wines, he would have suspected the involvement of alcohol.

It was winter yet the weather was as sunny and warm as sunny. Even the most hardworking of students had been drawn from the imprisoning grasp of the library into the embrace of the outdoors. The study area, usually bustling with life and students gone rabid from stress, was empty but for a few poor souls. Having left the completion of their assignments and readings to the gods, they sat with noses pressed to laptop screens, buried in books or scribbling furiously at papers and worksheets. Kristoff was one of the few, gripping his skull hard enough to burst as he struggled through philosophy readings. The man regretted ever having chosen the course. He’d only done so because Elsa had taken it, remarking that it was a breeze. Of course, in hindsight, it probably hadn’t been the best idea to trust Elsa’s judgement. Feeling rather resentful, he glowered at his friend.

As always, Elsa was either blissfully ignorant of his smoldering resentment or pointedly ignoring it. Her eyes flickered back and forth, a slight frown upon her face as she immersed herself in a large book. Realizing that his anger was utterly futile, Kristoff grumbled and returned to his readings. For several long seconds, the only sound was his own mutters and the occasional flip of a page accompanied by the frantic melody of clicking keys from the girl two tables down. Finally, he couldn’t stand it anymore. 

"What’s that you’re reading?"

Elsa’s eyes never left the page, running through the lines with a slim finger as she absorbed the knowledge word by word.

"Philosophy of Love."

Kristoff sighed. “Not this again Els. I told you last time, love just-"

Elsa snapped the book shut.

"That is not an acceptable answer Kristoff. Everything has a science. Everything. And I will not be denied the chance to explore it just because you insist that love is just love. That doesn’t even make any sense. It has to be deeper than that."

The man threw his hands in the air. “Are you serious Els? It’s just a feeling. You haven’t even felt it before. How would you even know? Where’s your proof? Where’s your firsthand experience.”

About to make a sharp retort, Elsa hesitated. It was true. She had hundreds upon thousands of hypotheses for love and its makeup and what she believed caused it. However, the girl had never actually been in love. 

Kristoff snorted as her silence, his attention drifting back to his papers.

"That’s what I thought."

He ruffled through them, looking for something a little more interesting than what he was currently reading. There was nothing and he grunted in resignation. Looking over at Elsa, he was surprised to see that she hadn’t returned to her readings. Usually she shrugged off whatever he said in seconds. Apparently his words this time had struck home. Kristoff felt a twinge of guilt. Elsa simply didn’t fall easily or at all. She kept to herself and the few friends that she made and kept were close friends who understood and accepted her odd quirks of nature. Not to say she wasn’t diplomatic; she could handle all and any situation with a practiced ease. But she just didn’t understand emotions and romantic attractions at all, convinced that they were completely scientific. Patting her shoulder gingerly, the blond man attempted to soften his words.

"Hey Elsa, don’t take it too hard. I just meant that-"

"So you are saying that I need to have actual experience of love in order to prove my hypothesis."

Kristoff blinked at the sudden change in mood. Elsa was staring thoughtfully into space, her fingers tapping out a light rhythm upon the book. He backtracked quickly.

"Well, yes but that’s-"

She fixed him with a uncomfortably determined expression in her blue eyes.

"You call yourself the love expert."

"Yeah, but-"

"Good. Then tell me. What is it that people find attractive and important in a relationship?"

Kristoff floundered. He wasn’t quite sure what Elsa was getting at and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know. Her voice carried easily in the quiet library. Glancing at the girl two tables down, he sighed in relief. She had her earphones, the tinny whine of music blasting from it suggested that she wouldn’t be eavesdropping on them anytime soon.

"Well..uh…I guess that would be honesty?"

"You guess or you know."

"Uh…I know."

Elsa lifted one eyebrow critically.

"Yeah, yeah. I know. Honesty’s really important in a relationship," said Kristoff frantically, regaining his footing a bit. "Nobody wants to be in a relationship with someone who won’t be completely honest and straightforward with them."

"Hmm…" Elsa frowned. Her tapping intensified, reaching a crescendo before suddenly halting. "Very good."

"Good?" echoed Kristoff. "What’s good? Elsa, what are you going to do?"

The woman ignored him, transferring her book from lap to tabletop. 

"In your expertise as a self-proclaimed love expert, how would you usually go about approaching your target of romantic intention?"

"Uh…" Kristoff was completely off-guard once again. "I would say that using a pick-up line? Maybe something to break the ice? Like to compliment them or something…or other I dunno…"

He trailed off awkwardly, doing his best to keep his voice down to avoid attracting any more attention.

"Good."

"Eh?"

Elsa stood abruptly. Looking about, she caught sight of the sole other person in the library and made a beeline right for her, determination glinting in her eyes. Kristoff grabbed for her, banging his hip painfully against the table as he lunged and missed. Biting back a yelp of pain, he watched helplessly as Elsa trapped the unsuspecting girl in her chair.

"Wait, Elsa, what are you-"

Elsa shushed him impatiently, keeping her eyes on the girl. She was quite pretty, with auburn hair plaited neatly into two braids. The blonde deduced that her target was most likely two or three years younger than her. Not a huge age difference. 

"Good day," she said politely.

"H-Hi…?" The girl removed her earphones, looking rather bewildered at the sudden unexpected company.

Elsa tried to remember what Kristoff had told her. However, small chat would have taken too much time and he had said honesty was important. Looking down at the girl who appeared completely nonplussed and rather fearful, Elsa sighed.

"Well then, my friend informed me to use a pick-up line upon you but I feel that honesty is really the best way to go in situations such as this. Basically, I find that you are very attractive and would be extremely honoured if you allowed me the chance to get to know you better."

Elsa paused politely, waiting for a reply. The girl flushed red, her lips parting slightly as she stared up at the blonde woman. A long silence stretched between them. Realizing after a while that the redhead was probably not about to reply to her comment anytime soon, Elsa continued. Scribbling her number and email upon a small piece of paper, she extended the information towards the girl.

"I would be delighted to take you out to dinner. If you would be so kind as to accept my offer, please call, text or email me."

The girl just stared at her, doing a very good impression of a ripened tomato. Elsa hesitated before placing the paper down upon the girl’s laptop. Turning upon her heel, she joined Kristoff. 

"There," she informed him cheerfully. "I’ve done it. You stay here and do some more studying. I need to go prepare for some things at home."

Too stunned for words, Kristoff nodded dumbly as he watched her gather her book and bag and leave. Blinking as he tried to register her actions, Kristoff glanced at the girl she’d just unintentionally wooed. Still blushing furiously, the girl stared at Elsa’s number in apparent shock. 

Kristoff groaned, burying his face in his hands.

"Goddammit Elsa…that wasn’t what I meant by being honest…"


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's actually rather important to get the name of that random person you've suddenly asked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who takes the time to read my writing. It's by no means great writing and I still have a ways to go before it is. So yeah. Cheers.

"Els, listen to me, this is- Elsa, come on, just slow down for a sec."

"If you can not keep to my pace Kristoff, I suggest that you abandon your attempts to persuade me."

Cursing, Kristoff bent double. Bracing hands on knees, the blond man attempted to catch his breath. If the idea wasn’t absolutely ludicrous, he could have sworn that Elsa didn’t even walk on the ground, seeming to hover a hairs-breadth above the earth and levitate about at ridiculously high speeds while keeping up the pretense of walking. After all, it wasn’t that insane of a concept. The girl’s way of thinking was certainly out of this world. Kristoff wouldn’t have been surprised if he found out that Elsa was secretly an extraterrestrial life form from some far-off galaxy. 

A breeze howled around him, snapping at loose articles of clothing, threatening to tear his scarf away and hurl it to the four winds. Shivering, he pulled his hat down tighter over his ears, protecting them from the growing wrath of the biting cold. It pushed him impatiently, nudging him towards Elsa. All too happy to obey the unspoken command, Kristoff loped after his friend, slipping through the door she held open for him. 

"Elsa, I really don’t think this is a good idea."

She nodded absentmindedly, eyes flicking over the list of drinks on the overhanging menu.

"That’s wonderful Kristoff. Would you like some hot chocolate or perhaps a tea?"

"Hot chocolate, but no seriously Elsa. This is a really bad idea."

"Debit please. And there are no foreseeable problems with what I am about to do Kristoff-Thank you-so why must you insist on hounding me so?"

Sliding past a gaggle of teenagers, Elsa joined her friend, blue meeting brown as she stared patiently into his eyes and waited for an answer.

Resisting the urge to shake some sense into his friend, Kristoff inhaled deeply, running a massive hand through his hair. Knocked askew, his toque fell to the ground unnoticed in the moment of frustration. Shifting, he maneuvered his frame to prevent a traffic jam of humanity within the small coffee shop.

"Look, I understand your strange need to confirm the existence of love and that your method of doing so is apparently to pick up some poor girl but that doesn’t mean that it’s a good method. Or even a good idea in fact. Haven’t you thought about how this might affect the girl?"

A steaming hot chocolate was thrust into his hand. Muttering thanks, Kristoff warmed his hands with the heat radiating through the thin layers of cardboard and continued his rant.

"Think about it. What if she really starts liking you? What if she really starts developing actual, genuine, non-freaky weirdo sciencey feelings for you? And what happens if you don’t? Or worse, you do? Do you even know what you’re going to do if you start actually liking someone? It’s not as simple as you think. You can’t just drop it like a hot potato. Love doesn’t work like that? And-"

Elsa held up a hand, halting the spew of words.

"The chances of her falling in love with an absolute stranger, especially one who suddenly approached her out of the blue with such a blunt approach and no prior meeting is small. This would be considered a ‘hook up’ rather than an actual date. Feelings of love developed in such things are usually fleeting, unreliable and illusions. Therefore perfect for my study. I thank you for your concern but any feelings I develop, if my hypothesis on love is correct which it most likely is, can and will be easily rectified and disposed of with some basic psychology treatment."

She patted her friend on the arm.

"Now drink your hot chocolate and let’s go."

A icy queen in white and blue, she swept from the store, oblivious to the snapping jaws of the beastly cold outside its doors.

Kristoff trailed after her, his bulk effectively cutting a path through the masses seeking warmth and caffeine. 

"No no," he grumbled. "Go on ahead and ignore me. I can hear her ranting over her failed hypotheses and wondering what went wrong in the process already. This is going to be the Pie Incident all over again except worse."

Shouldering past a man with the most ridiculous sideburns he’d ever had the misfortune of seeing, Kristoff loped after Elsa, ignoring the snide regards the man sent his mother. He fell in stride with her, matching her brisk pace with his own. She was muttering to herself, a low eerie dirge that played quite the part in driving people off. Having known her for so long though, Kristoff had grown oddly accustomed to the sound, feeling that it was quite soothing, if incredibly creepy. 

"You’re muttering again," he said.

"Hm."

"Are you really going to go through with this? I mean, it’s been three days and she hasn’t even contacted you once."

Elsa sipped her hot chocolate, the whipped cream mustache sitting atop her lip wobbling dangerously as she mused.

"Taking into account that I am a complete stranger, add that to her lack of negative reactions upon my proposal and encompassing it with the obvious knowledge that I did approach her with seemingly no malicious intent in a fashion that would have otherwise been horribly humiliating had I not been completely earnest and seeing that I also made your presence known to her and departed from the scene of crime calmly and made of point of waving goodbye to her, I would surmise that she will most likely contact me sometime in the next 24 hours. Chances of accepting my offer of a further meeting versus rejection are leaning in favour of acceptance."

Kristoff eyed her critically as they crossed the street.

"You need to get out more."

"Nonsense, we need do no such thing. I get out plenty."

"The library doesn’t count."

"I also frequent research centres, labs and-where did your toque go?"

Startled by the sudden switch in focus, Kristoff felt his head gingerly.

"No wonder it was colder than before."

"Perhaps you dropped it at the store. Shall we head back?"

"Yeah, it’s freezing out here."

Elsa shrugged.

"I think it’s quite pleasant."

"That’s because you’re a friggin’ polar bear. Now let’s get my toque back."

A timid hand tapped his shoulder. 

"Uh..hi?"

The two turned to look down at the very girl who Elsa had wooed not too long ago. Elsa blinked.

"Well, I didn’t expect to be contacted this way but I suppose it works too," she muttered.

Ignoring Elsa’s incomprehensible mumbling, Kristoff smiled at the girl and hoped she wouldn’t be too unnerved by his companions odd behaviour. He doubted it; she was already staring at Elsa as though she’d sprouted an extra head.

"Hi," he said, just a tad too brightly. "Can I help you with something?"

"Oh, um…no, not really." 

The girl snapped from her reverie and flushed slightly. She proffered Kristoff’s toque.

"You dropped this. I was trying to find you guys but I had to wait for my order and then this really creepy guy with sideburns kept trying to hit on me. But I’m here now. And yeah. Your hat. Here."

She eyed Elsa who was still muttering into thin air, her brow furrowed as her slim fingers drew out patterns and equations only she could see.

Kristoff took his hat, his smile feeling rather strained.

"Thanks, you saved us the trip. We were just about to go back to look for it."

He jostled Elsa, jerking his sharply in the direction of the redhead still eyeing her.

"Ix-nay on the eird-way," he muttered. "Try to act normal for once in your life."

Ignoring her glare, he pasted the smile back onto his face. Before this moment, Kristoff had never been aware of how much it hurt pretending to smile for this long. Apparently it hurt about as much as the seemingly endless moment of awkward silence hovering over them.

"Uh…" The redheaded girl attempted a smile as she held out her hand. "I’m Anna?"

"That was a question," stated Elsa. "Are you or are you not Anna? One should always be sure of their identity."

"What did I just say about being weird?" snapped Kristoff, forgetting all attempts to be discreet.

"I was attempting to confirm her identity," said Elsa huffily. "There is no fault in that."

"No, you were being rude and weird and it’s a wonder no one’s tried to punch you in the face yet."

"Don’t lie Kristoff, it’s very unbecoming. There was that one boy from English last year."

A giggle broke them from their bickering. Eyes dancing, Anna attempted to hold back laughter.

"I’m so sorry, but you guys are really cute. Are you brother and sister?"

Kristoff flushed. It wasn’t often people called him cute, at least within earshot. Elsa’s brows nearly flew in her hairline, an impressive feat what with her hair being swept back from her face.

"Cute?" she echoed. "How do you even define-"

Her breath was knocked from her as Kristoff elbowed her in the ribs.

"Sorry about Elsa. She has the social skills of a chunk of ice. Which would really be an insult to ice chunks everywhere."

Jamming the toque over his head and covering his ears, Kristoff sighed with relief at the immediate warmth that rushed over his skin, frozen numb in the blistering wind. 

Anna grinned.

"I think she’s quite nice," she said. "Even though I was a bit confused when she suddenly asked me out last time we met."

Rubbing her sore ribs, Elsa straightened.

"I apologize if I’ve breached any rules of etiquette," she said, inclining her head slightly towards Anna. "But I was one hundred percent serious when I invited you out."

Taking Anna’s still-extended hand, she pressed her lips to the shorter girl’s knuckles.

"I would be absolutely delighted if you would accept my offer."

Releasing Anna’s hand, she stepped back and look expectantly at the redhead. Eyes wide, flushing to the tips of her ears, Anna opened and closed her mouth several times before nodding furiously. Elsa smiled. 

"Lovely, I’ll pick you up in front of the coffee shop at 6 tomorrow."

Still blushing, Anna nodded then fled the scene. Elsa waved her off before turning to Kristoff.

"I think that went rather well, don’t you?"

The blond man just sighed and shook his head in despair.


End file.
